


Here's My Number, So uh, Fight Me Maybe?

by IrisofParadise



Category: Daredevil (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Crack, Imagine your OTP, M/M, Matt is the worst patient, Nurse!Vladimir, Patient!Matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2015-11-11
Packaged: 2018-05-01 05:11:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5193470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrisofParadise/pseuds/IrisofParadise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Claire is so done with being Matt's nurse, so Vladimir is now his nurse and Matt isn't a normal patient at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's My Number, So uh, Fight Me Maybe?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a post on tumblr:  
> my nurse just came in to check my vitals and i told him to fight me from beneath a mountain of pillwos. he just moved my pillows and told me later.  
> he just came in again and when i tried to tell him to fight me again i started coughing and couldn't breathe and then he just smiled and told me he wont fight me because he knows id win  
> apparently i seduced him with my drool and terrible lungs because he wrote his number on a coffee from the giftshop under "fight me?"  
> Imagine your OTP

New York sucks. Its drivers more so. But what sucks more than New York is hospitals. And what's even worse than hospitals and New York? New York Hospitals. 

Matt doesn't realize that apparently he's babbling this out in a rush of words to his very amused best friend who is sitting beside the hospital bed that he is currently laying in. 

"I just really hate hospitals. They smell so weird. You know?" He doesn't give Foggy a chance to say anything before he's babbling once more. "And they're so loud too! All that beeping!" He covers his ears and lets out a loud groan because of course it doesn't help really block out any of the noise of the hospital. 

"Need more pillows. Foggy!" Matt flails his arm out and just barely misses smacking the blonde man in the chest. "Foggy! Franklin!"

"Matt! I'm right here!" Foggy laughs out as he stands to get more pillows. "Hold on Mister Impatient!"

"My name is Matt!" Matt yells back with a grin. 

Foggy shakes his head in amusement and can't help his fond grin that he shoots back to his blind friend. His best friend who happens to be very high on medical drugs at the moment. The blonde re-enters the room and tosses the extra pillows onto Matt's face.

"Happy?" Foggy asks with a grin as the brunette lets out an offended noise. 

Matt just holds his arm up and gives a thumbs up signal along with a sound that can only be described as a giggle. 

It's hours later, when Foggy leaves at Matt's endless insistence, that Matt's night nurse comes in to take Matt's vitals. Matt can tell that the nurse is a man, which is odd and not his usual nurse, and rather tense but he can't tell why. 

Then the nurse's gruff voice, "Mister Murdock?"

Matt lets out a groan from under his pile of seven hospital pillows that smell too clean. 

"I take that as yes," the accented voice says and if Matt were a bit more coherent he'd even say that the voice was amused. "I am Vladimir. Will be your nurse tonight."

"Usually it's Claire," Matt mumbles out, his words muffled from under the pillows. 

Vladimir lets out a scoff. " _She is done with you she says, whatevr that means,"_ he mumbles in Russian before flipping through the papers he has on his clipboard. "So, vitals now, then you sleep, da?"

"No da," Matt mumbles back. 

The Russian just raises an eyebrow before placing the clipboard on the nightstand and reaching for a pillow. He makes a face as Matt swats at him, almost as if the blind man can sense him. And then Matt is making a groan of, "Fight me!" as he swats repeatedly at Vladimir from beneath the pillows. 

Vladimir rolls his eyes but after a few more struggling moments is finally able to yank a pillow off of Matt. "I fight you later, mudak, but first vitals."

Matt lets out an annoyed huff but finally sits up dutifully, gives a small wince as his ribs ache, and lets Vladimir take his vitals and give him some more medicine. As Vladimir begins to write on the clipboard and turns to leave Matt grins and leans over the railing of the bed to give a gentle caressing touch to Vladimir's ass. 

Vladimir jumps and turns to glare and snap at the younger man but as he opens his mouth Matt gives a soft, "Bye, butt. See you tomorrow!" And then the brunette is laughing hysterically and saying loudly, "I'm so funny! I can't see shit. 'Cause I'm blind!" And then he's falling back against his mountain of pillows and snoring softly. 

The blonde frowns and still wants to scold the patient but ultimately decides ro just roll his eyes and continue on with his night. 

 

~oOo~

 

Vladimir doesn't see Matt Murdock for a week and a half and the next time that he does see the blind man, Matt is once again in a hospital bed, hooked up to an I.V. drip. 

The Russian lets out a long sigh then, "I am here to check your vitals Mister Mudak."

The response he receives is the sound of Matt choking on his coughs as he spits out, "Fucking fight me!" The brunette shakily stands up and continues to choke on his coughs. 

Vladimir sighs and just pushes on Matt's shoulder to make him get back into the bed. "Just let me take your vitals."

Once finished Vladimir watches Matt drool and snore softly for just a few moments before frowning as he notices the bruises that paint Matt's cheek a mix of purples and blues and the busted lip. Finally he leaves the room, being careful to shut the heavy door quietly behind him, and makes his way back to the nurses station where he goes right up to Claire and gives her a look. 

"What's with that face?" She asks with a small, barely noticeable, smirk. 

Vladimir just points down to where Matt's room is. "The fuck is wrong with that man?"

"Murdock?"

"Da. Last time he said you were usual nurse for him. What is wrong with him?" Vladimir repeats with a frown. 

Claire just gives a shrug and slowly stands up. "Honestly, I'm not sure. He'll be leaving tomorrow morning but it'll probably be about a week or two before he's back again. Now, you wanna deal with Wilson tonight or would you rather have Howlett?"

Vladimir gives a shudder as he mentally weighs his options. "I take Wilson. He doesn't try to stab me as often as Howlett." He takes the new clipboard from Claire and heads down the hall to Wade Wilson's room. 

 

~oOo~

 

It's four days. Four whole days until Matt is back in the hospital. This time with a stab wound to his side because he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

Vladimir makes a face as he opens the door and sees Matt reaching for a pillow that a blonde man is holding just out of his reach. 

"No, Matt! These pillows are for good morons who don't try to stop an armed robber from robbing a convenience store!" The man says as Matt lets out a huff. 

"Uhh..." Vladimir isn't sure how to respond to this scene if he's being completely honest. Both the blonde man and Matt turn to his direction and Vladimir clears his throat nefore holding up the clipboard and giving a gruff, "Need to take mudak's vitals."

"Uh, his name is Murdock actually. Matt, you going to let your nurse check your vitals?" The blonde asks. 

Matt wrinkles his nose and crosses his arms. "No. Fight me. Ah!" He yelps as the pillow is thrown at his face. "Dick move, Foggy," he grumbles out. 

Vladimir rolls his eyes but quickly checks the man's vitals. Has him rate his pain from one to ten. Isn't surprised when Matt gives a, "It's a two. Maybe," through clenched teeth. Vladimir nods and writes it down though he doesn't believe the brunette. 

Once Vladimir is back at the nurses station he goes straight to Claire and says simply, "Please take Murdock back as your patient."

"He keep telling you to fight him?"

"Da."

"Nah. You can keep him."

 

~oOo~

 

"Vladimir!" Matt groans out in the voice that Vladimir has come to recognize as Matt's 'I'm on morphine' voice. 

The Russian lets out a sigh and rubs at the bridge of his nose for a moment. "What happened to you this time, mudak?"

"It's Murdock! And I fell down a man hole and sprained my ankle." The blind man lifts the blankets off of his ankle and makes a gesture for Vladimir to take a look. 

Vladimir twitches slightly before turning to stare at Matt in worry. "How do you keep hurting yourself like this?" Matt gives a shrug. "Why are you this way?" 

It's silent but for the beeps of the heart monitor. 

Then, "Foggy said my ankle is a funny color."

Vladimir sighs again. "Da. It is."

"Fight me?"

"Nyet."

He takes Matt's vitals and shakes his head in what he refuses to call amusement before leaving the room once more. 

It had only been a week since Matt had last been in the hospital. 

 

~oOo~

 

Two days later and Vladimir isn't even surprised as he comes into the room that has basically been labeled as Murdock's room. Once again, Matt is his patient. And once again the first thing that Matt says as Vladimir enters the room is a muffled, "Fight me!" from beneath his pillows and blanket. 

" _I do not understand how you keep doing this. How are you even alive at this point?_ " He asks as he checks the monitors and writes on the clipboard. The blonde shakes his head. " _I just don't understand how one person can keep almost dying like you do_."

He doesn't realize he's slipped into his native language until he looks into Matt's face and Matt is just giving him a fond, dopey grin. 

The blonde raises an eyebrow and can't help but smile back. "Chto?"

Matt just shakes his head. "Don't know what you said but if you look anything like how your voice sounds, you're pretty good looking." 

The lawyer grins as Vladimir begins to stutter slightly as he gives Matt his medicine before saying, in a slightly higher pitch, "Goodnight, Matvey!"

Claire raises an eyebrow at his slightly flushed face. 

"Something very serious is wrong with that man!" Vladimir whisper yells to her, willing the blush on his face to vanish. 

The woman just gives a tilt of the head as if to say she agreed. "Yeah. Now, I don't know what it is, but he's a smart man. Just extremely accident prone.

"He is kind of cute," Vladimir mumbles as he thinks about Matt grinning dopily. 

Claire raises an eyebrow as Vladimir begins to grin. "Yeah, but him breaking his bones every other day is a bit of a turn off."

"Eh," the blonde shrugs, "could be worse. I'd still sleep with him. Bet he be good in bed. The things I would not mind doing."

Claire rolls her eyes and makes a face at him. "For the love of all that is holy and good in this world, can you not tell me these things."

"I'm just saying."

"You have a brother you can talk to about this. Now, Wilson or Howlett?"

 

~oOo~

 

Vladimir comes to work five days later with bags under his eyes and a very worn t-shirt that Claire is almost positive is actually worn as a pajama shirt. It's ten o'clock at night and Vladimir hadn't slept during the day because he had been helping his brother with his work and now he was paying for being a helpful younger brother. 

So for the first hour and a half he drinks four cups of coffee, continuously yawns, and can't seem to stop rubbing at his eyes. 

It's nearly twelve when Anatoly finally shows up with a clean t-shirt for the blonde. 

"Is too late, or is it too early, for me to be doing this Volodya," Anatoly says with a small yawn. 

Vladimir gives a scoff and greatfully takes the folded t-shirt. "Spasibo. At least you don't have to stay, brat'ya."

Claire chooses this moment to interrupt the brothers with a, "Hey, Vladimir, your favorite patient needs you. Go take his vitals."

Anatoly frowns as his brother flushes slightly. Vladimir hadn't ever mentioned anyone. "Favorite patient?"

And now Vladimir is groaning loudly as he quicklh changes his shirt. "Fucking mudak can't stay out of the hospital for even a week!" Vladimir mumbles as he picks up his clipboard and begins to walk down the halls to Matt's room. 

Anatoly follows after and waits at the doorway as Vladimir walks over to the person laying under a heap of pillows and blankets. His eyes widen in worry and he has to stop himself from entering the room as a pillow is thrown into Vladimir's face and a, "Fight me, Russian!" is shouted out. 

The elder Russian half expects for Vladimir to shout and throw the pillow back but instead the blonde just sighs and picks up the pillow and sets it on the patient's feet. "Would you just let me take your vitals?"

"Never!" 

Another pillow is thrown at Vladimir. And Anatoly begins to have worries about his brother working at a hospital. 

"Please?" 

A moment of silence. Then a sigh and a groan and finally the patient is sitting up, hair mussed up and brown eyes wide. "Fine."

Vladimir gives a triumphant grin and quickly checks Matt's blood pressure, heart rate, reads over the machines, writes everything down, administers the medicine and pats Matt on the knee. "Spasibo, mudak."

Matt just gives an eye roll and a thumbs up. "Good night, Vladimir," he says softly, giving Vladimir's hand a small squeeze before falling back against his pillows and snoring softly, the medicine kicking in already. 

Vladimir waits a moment before giving a small squeeze back, then he slowly takes his hand away and picks up the clipboard. He flushes again though as he sees Anatoly staring at him in amusement. " _You aren't supposed to be there,_ " he whispers as he begins to exit the room, shutting the door softly. 

" _You like him_."

Vladimir gives a scowl as he crosses his arms over his chest. " _I do not. He's a pain in my ass._ " 

" _Bet you want to be a pain in his ass, hm?_ " Anatoly says teasingly, grinning as his brother almost drops his clipboard. 

" _Tolya please leave!_ "

 

~oOo~

 

The next morning Foggy walks into Matt's room and gives a worried look as Matt is frowning confusedly as he holds onto a cup. "Foggy?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"What's written on this cup?"

Foggy gingerly takes the cup and reads out the numbers. "And then under that it says, 'Fight Me' in big bold letters. What's that about?"

Matt gives a wide grin. "I was beginning to think my nurse wasn't picking up the hint."

"What hint?" Foggy raised an eyebrow as Matt rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. He narrows his eyes as Matt stays quiet. "Matthew. What hint?"

"I uh, I've been trying to ask my nurse out since my first visit a few weeks ago but every time he came in I was usually high on meds. So I uh, had to keep coming back."

It takes a moment for Matt's words to sink in for Foggy. Then, "Wait you mean to be telling me that you've been purposefully getting hurt so you can have an excuse to talk to your nurse?!"

"Not all of it was on purpose! The taxi incident and the manhole and the convenience store were accidents!" Matt throws out in an attempt to calm Foggy down. 

"Oh my god, Matt!" Foggy groans but can't stop his amused laugh. "Ask someone out like a normal human!"


End file.
